Here is my whole take on celebrities, domestic violence and the media. This is one of those times that you ask “And where the f*ck was YOUR publicist?” Probably somewhere giving the Stallionaires a touch-up…but I digress:
I know that I am going to catch a lot of flack for this but I have to put this out there. After the past month of non-stop Chris & Ri-Ri bull, I still find it hard to believe that Tameka Foster-Raymond almost DIED and y’all are sitting around here pining over these teenagers. For the record, THERE HAS STILL BEEN NO STATEMENT RELEASED FROM EITHER ENTITY. I find it unreal that everyone has allowed the media to pimp you into their vicious cycles of fabrication. I actually attended this year’s Grammys and when we got the word, even then, it didn’t have all this hype surrounding it.
For me this is going to be an open and shut situation. Here’s my theory:
In no way do I feel that it’s okay or feasible for any man to put his hands on or force any violence upon a female. I was once a victim of spousal abuse so I feel MORE THAN qualified to speak on this. No man is really a man if he can’t control his actions or just walk away.
How many of you would truly give Chris his certificate into manhood? Here we have a young man who is an international pop icon and his partner in crime is his equal (if not his successor). Chris has a long way to go to “worldly maturity”, mainly because of the pollution that dilutes the minds of young entertainers at an early age in this industry.
If I know females like I think I know, they will push, prod, poke, nag and bitch until you cave in. Most men will either walk away, cuss you out, shake the sh*t outta you, or just knock you out. But, you have to know what kind of man you are dealing with. Ladies, let me give you a few tips and signs to stay up on when it come to these type of men folk:
1) SHUT UP! The main reason women get caught up in so much drama is because they don’t know how to close their mouths. Any man will tell you that they hate a loud-mouth, nagging broad. We know you don’t need him for sh*t and he ain’t no good, but telling him everytime he walks in the crib will send any man into auto-pilot…and then, it’s only a matter of time.
2) DON’T IGNORE THE SIGNS. Madea said it best: “Every man gives you some kind of sign that’ll let you know he’s crazy. Pay attention to the signs, chile.” No man just starts hitting on a chick. Even the absence of action is a sign. Grabbing, shaking, chasing, snapping, threats and obscenities are all signs to hit the bricks. All it takes is one time. For those of you ladies who haven’t met my best friend, let me introduce her. Women’s intuition…meet my girls! Ladies…women’s intuition. Get familiar with her…She’ll NEVER fail!
3) ASK & YOU SHALL RECEIVE. If this was a perfect world then no man would ever hit a chick and we would not be having this convo. But, the fact is that there are some men that have different levels of control. It has nothing to do with age and respect. It mostly depends on upbringing and a man’s “tipping point.” Naturally, every human has a tipping point (Attempt to educate: Read “The Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell). Unless you know a person well, you may or may not know where that point is with them. LADIES, we gotta stop poking and pushing these dudes. Just cause you are a female doesn’t mean he won’t hit you! Don’t believe me??? See if any of this looks familiar…
This is an example. The dialogue usually goes like this:
DUDE: Go on now, I’m not tryna hear this sh*t again tonight girl.
CHICK: So what?!? You gon’ hear what I got to say. I’m tired of your ass always _________ and ________ and ________ (you fill in the blanks).
DUDE: Man, I told you I wasn’t ________. I’m getting real tired of this sh*t man. You need to go cool out for a minute fo’ you get me hot!
CHICK: You get hot!?! You out _______ and______ and you’re gonna get hot? What chu gon’ do? You ain’t gon’ do sh*t?!?
DUDE: Man, if you don’t get outta my face I know something….! You got one more time girl!
CHICK: What chu’ know?!? You don’t know sh*t! That’s the problem now! I ________ my own _______ and I ________my own __________. I don’t need you for nothing. I know one thing you AINT gon’ do is put your hands on me! I JUST KKKNNNNOOOWWW you ain’t gon’ do that (at this point while poking and pushing dude). Are you? Come on then…HIT ME! You bad…!
This is where it can go a few ways (pay attention @ no charge):
DUDE: (Totally snaps! Usually leaves you bloody, bruised, cut up or missing -watch the news)
DUDE: (grabbing you and shaking the sh*t outta you) Now, I’ve done told you to chill out!!! You put your hands on me again girl and I’ma pretend you ain’t no female and act like I don’t know the difference!!! (Pushing chick away)
DUDE: Man you trippin, I’m finna go [expletive]. [Expletive] don’t call me til you’ve found the part of your mind you lost.
….that’s just my interpretation.
Ladies, I’m just asking for you to put on your thinking caps and try to reduce these repeat cases on Judge Hatchett.
But seriously, if you or someone you know is a victim or spousal abuse or abuse period, please call 1-800-799-SAFE or visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline to find support in your area.